"This Doesn't Work for Me"

Using your paycheck to maximize your best shot at autonomy—creating options for finally launching your own pursuits and dreams.

At a recent networking event, I chatted with a physical therapist who had recently struck out on her own. Jordan didn’t say that it had been her lifelong dream to work for herself, but rather that she realized after a decade of traditional PT employment that she wanted way more autonomy. Now that is something we dreamers get.

Basically, she wanted to do her work in the way she saw fit to provide better care to her patients. In a traditional PT clinic setting, she was less and less able to do this, since management expected therapists to perform the therapies they could get paid the most for. According to her, manual modalities—the kind she finds most beneficial for her specialty—are compensated at the lowest rate (what?!) and so she had to do therapy modalities she didn’t believe to be best.

The birth of her son two years ago woke Jordan up to the possibility of going on her own, to the knowledge that what she was doing wasn’t working for her or her patients, and that she could do something about it. It took two years of counseling and mustering courage and planning and preparing, but she got there. We didn’t talk specifically about money, but I bet you several tacos her preparation included getting her money good to go. As in, she got her finances organized and proactive so she could go.

In January of this year, Jordan opened her own clinic where she gets to decide how to do her work and how best to help her patients. She’s cash-pay only so she doesn’t have to play by the traditional clinic and insurance rules anymore, and finds that she’s able to help people with fewer sessions since they’re getting the modality they need, and motivated since they’re paying out-of-pocket. She was finally able to say to a job that wasn’t working for her, “This doesn’t work for me anymore. And I’m doing something about it.”

Pushes out of the nest:

Here are some of the things that may not be working for you anymore, or things to which you’d like to say “Naw, not going to work for me.” Not that they ever worked for you, but sometimes you find yourself in proverbial boiling water wondering how a nice frog like you got there.

• Your deserved efforts to advance in your company are rebuffed, your contributions are consistently unappreciated, or you’re not being compensated fairly. As Jessica Chou wrote in The Wall Street Journal:

I found myself stuck in a role without a career trajectory or opportunities for growth, and I realized I had to walk away. I got some other gigs lined up, asked for a small raise, and when they said no, I also said no, getting out of that dead-end job.

• It’s no longer good for your soul to stay surrounded by bureaucracy and pretending and busyness leading nowhere. The phrase “death by a thousand paper cuts” comes to mind—nothing may be egregiously wrong, but very little is working well. [Random question: why do only “paper cuts” get so specifically named? You’d never tell someone you have a “knife cut” or a “stick cut.”]

• You are being asked to go along with things you disagree with, or the company’s culture starts to shift in a way that’s counter to your ethics.

• Work bleeds into every part of your life and you have to work nights and weekends to compensate for failures and dysfunction elsewhere on the team or in the company. Note: I am a very big fan of workplace boundaries, but it can feel scary to put these in place when you are dependent on the very next paycheck.

• Your complaints over things employees shouldn’t experience in the workplace are being ignored, invalidated, or swept under the rug.

• You’ve stopped growing, are going backward, you’re bored, and you simply know it isn’t good for you to stay any longer.

Being financially able to say “no.”

I want all fellow dreamers—those who already know they want to do their own thing—stuck in compromising or soul-sucking jobs to be more able to say the same thing as Jordan. Working for an employer should be an exchange of mutual benefit. But for too many, it might feel like an employer is doing you a real big favor by employing you so your financial life doesn’t fall apart next week.

More than 3 in 5 Americans were living paycheck to paycheck as of November 2023, including more than 40% of people making more than $100,000. When so many employees are this dependent on a paycheck, it’s not a stretch to assume that plenty of employees are saying “yes” to things to which they want to say “no.”

And what this looks like for dreamers is that they might be staying in jobs they’ve long since outgrown while their dreams go stale on the shelf. Inspiring and enabling dreamers to be more autonomous in their jobs while they prepare to leave jobs is why I write and create what I do.

Lest you think I’m throwing stones, you should know that I was part of this 60% for basically my entire twenties and into my early thirties. My savings, far from being a buffer to fall back on, was a literal roller coaster. But not an exciting one. More like the first one I remember from childhood—Puff the Magic Dragon. It didn’t go fast and it didn’t go very high.

And I didn’t love my options to do anything different, especially toward my own dreams. A post-breakup, frank look at my spending helped me finally get money. As in, figure out how to take care of the money I made and use it to get out of debt and build savings to give me options.

The answer is a launching fund.

I’m a super fan of anything that lessens dreamers’ dependence on all things employer. We do this by taking charge of our own well-being (financial and otherwise) instead of abdicating it to a company, and using our paychecks to build up what’s commonly called a “walk-away fund.”

Said fund gives you more room to say, like Jordan, “This just doesn’t work for me.” Let’s decide to call it a “launch fund” instead though. Okay? Relabeling it like so keeps the focus on something super exciting—launching you in the direction of your dreams.

Let’s also assume you’ve got time to work with in your current job, and get you using your paycheck to create an increasing buffer of independence between you and your employer. This process could also be described as getting your roots right, something that facilitates all lasting growth. Good roots = good growth options.

What a launch fund looks like and how to create it:

Based on years of personal and coaching experience, here’s what I include in a launch fund:

• A budget. And a proven track record living by your budget. Not on a budget, but by your budget. This means you’ve shifted from reactive spending to proactive planning and finally trust yourself with money.

• No or low consumer debt. I was pro-level at consumer debt. By paying it off, I unburdened myself of over $1,000 each month in payments.

• A significant buffer in savings. 3-6 months living expenses saved would be the minimum recommendation, but obviously, the more the merrier. This shouldn’t just cover your bills, but all of your living expenses since you will continue to be a person with much the same life.

• Confidence that you can figure things out and will work hard to make your livelihood work. Start building this belief as soon as possible by taking risks and working on your own things.

I wrote in detail about all this and my own money journey in Dear Fellow Spender, but here are three specific recommendations:

1. Get really honest about your average monthly cost of living. It’s wild how many people don’t actually know how much their life on an average monthly basis costs. Check out this article for more detail and help.

2. Map out your plan to payoff all debt minus the house. And not (just) because the interest rates are high, but because you can lessen your monthly recurring expenses. Your life gets more flexible and less expensive.

3. Create a proactive budget to help you see your money working for you. Yes, this involves time and tracking. But like everything worthwhile in life, it pays amazing dividends. I recommend a zero-based budget tool like YNAB, paired with hypothetical forecasting.

Questions to consider:

In the masterfully done kids movie Up, I love the phrase “Adventure is out there!” And for dreamers, it really is. That adventure starts by becoming more independent and financially able to say “no” at work, so you can ultimately say a heartfelt “yes” to you and your dreams and the adventure that awaits.

• How does all this match with your experiences?

• How financially able do you feel to say “no” at work and do you?

• What’s holding you back from building your launch fund and taking a chance on your own thing?

I’m here to help dreamers give their dreams their best shot, so please reach out anytime to let me know how I can help you.