Using the past tense in your favor

Rough chapters are never the whole of the story

In a recent column, I told you I am no historian. Today, I tell you that I am no psychologist.

Good thing you don’t need to be an expert to know that life has some rough seasons. These can sometimes feel like really rough or prolonged patches which can’t be wished or self-helped away. These seasons provide some of the critical dark contrast needed in any gorgeous plot, musical composition or painting, and sometimes just need to be endured. More good and growth and healing is happening than you can see at the time.

But the rough chapters are never the whole or the end of the story.

They can feel like it, but one thing I’ve found helpful is to write and think about this phase in the past tense.

• “I went through a long season where it felt like nothing was working out, then...”

• “For a long time, I was scared to try anything. Then I...”

• “I stayed stuck in a safe but boring job for a really long time, then I…”

• “I used to be really sensitive to the judgments of others, then…”

That word “then” is like a magic bridge word—you didn’t necessarily choose the current circumstance but you can choose or imagine what comes next or what you chose to do differently.

Seeing these chapters or character traits as existing in the past that is not your present has this very cool way of opening your eyes and heart to a happier future made possible when you just don’t quit.

I don’t know about you, but I am positively a sucker for an underdog or overcoming story even if I never love being in the middle of mine. Using this trick, we dreamers and builders get to reframe our current experience mid-plot to imagine the story-worthy resolution of our own overcoming story.

I’m so glad you’re here. See you in the next one…

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