Getting Back On Top
Who knew a session at the car wash could turn the day, the mood, around so dramatically?
My car felt like a disaster. No, I wasn’t throwing wadded up McDonald’s wrappers over my shoulder into the backseat, but I did definitely eat some McDonald’s in the car. Judge me, sue me, or maybe like me more for admitting it. You never know when you might deepen a friendship by admitting something lots of people are embarrassed to admit publicly ;-) Eight out of nine people on one of my previous teams had a secret affinity for McDonald’s, which affinity only came out when I vulnerably shared that McDonald’s cheeseburgers are my favorite. There’s just something about those three pickles and eleven minced onion pieces and that melty piece of American cheese...
Anyway, my car wasn’t really a disaster, but I was certainly traveling with more than I needed for short stays. I’d driven from San Diego, California to Raleigh, North Carolina mid-January with all the things I thought I might need for my three-month stay. Also with me were some things I definitely didn’t need but didn’t want to leave behind as items to collect one day from southern California.
When three months in Raleigh wrapped up, I spent six weeks driving more than 3,500 miles, staying in ten different abodes, and having shorter-stay adventures out of my car. And all the stuff I’d originally packed had to come along with me, whether I needed it or not (I didn’t).
By the time I rolled into Utah to possibly re-establish a home base, I felt like I was living out of a giant suitcase in a vortex of uncertainty. It’s been a wonderful but long (18 months) season of uncertainty and decision-making and transition and change and adventure. And I was feeling frayed at all the ends and overwhelmed to an exceeding degree.
Three things helped this dreamer get back on top again:
I made a decision. And that decision was to not put down roots quite yet, and to spend the summer checking out Colorado Springs.
With this decision made, I lightened the load very literally by moving some of the stuff from my car into my storage unit.
And then I imposed order where I could. I vacuumed and washed my car like a normal person with a normal life even if not much feels “normal” about it right now.
It all sounds so simple, right? Sometimes the things that help us most really are. If you’re also in a snippet or season where you need to find some control, I dare you to find something to tangibly improve in your life right now. And also—topic to write more fully about another day—practice way more self-compassion. I’m re-reading Kristin Neff’s book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and seeing how an absence of this can keep dreamers, myself certainly included at times, from really going for the things we want.
It all sounds so simple, right? Sometimes the things that help us most really are.
Like I mentioned, that’s a post for another day. For today, the recommendation is to find anything to clean, tidy, organize, dejunk or accomplish to remind yourself that you have agency and things won’t always be this chaotic or out of control. Here are five small ideas.
Join me in the Clean Car Club and vacuum and clean yours.
Do the dishes. A person with a clean sink can accomplish anything.
Clean off your computer desktop, or deal with the 37 Chrome tabs you have open so you aren’t overwhelmed every time you try to do something productive on your computer.
If you have a budget, clean it up. Enter any missing transactions, reconcile your accounts, cover overspending, see what you’re really working with.
Brush your teeth. No dentist paid me to say this; I just have found it to be a small and helpful act of starting a part of the day over.
You’ve got dreams to pursue, and it’s much easier—and way more fun—to move forward on your dreams when you’re not swimming in overwhelm. This I know. One of my dreams is to finish and publish Dear Fellow Dreamer this year. When life is even more chaotic than usual in this season of exploration, I make less headway. When I get more ordered or disciplined, I make more headway on it. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Related to all this, I used some of a recent Saturday morning to do a really thorough tidy-up of my budgets. Embarrassingly, I’ve been entirely reactive with my business budget, and some reactive with my personal budget during the past six weeks of life “on the road again.” And let me tell you, it felt so stinkin’ good to get thoroughly proactive again with all my money plans and budgets.
Just like it feels so good to not be living on the road for the next couple months, to be returning to more structure and routine, and to be eating more things like quinoa and kefir…and fewer things like McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
If you care to share what you did to get back on top or to impose some happy order in your life, I’d love to know—I’m always a comment or an email away. And if you also like McDonald’s, well, I should probably know that, too.
P.S. If money stress or debt is keeping you stuck on the sidelines and you’re ready for help, Dear Fellow Spender is a great place to start. And if you’re ready for 1:1 help, you can get help without hoopla by booking a session with me.